superhell pcs: date

[teufelshund]

Comments

[psynchronise]

[ LOVELY. he loves hearing about kids that were supposed to die! really warms the heart and makes him feel kinda pissed off.

but there's another pause before he speaks. ]

... Satan has kids. [ huh. ] Wait-- I guess that's not so strange. I've already heard one situation kinda like that. [ his roommate is literally the son of hades after all. ]

So your exorcist-in-training lost his bet, owed you a favour and that favour ended up being "can you shelter these twins who happen to have Satan as a dad and not let them be murdered by the paranoid masses? Thanks."

[ ... Kaname Date doesn't even know who Shiro is and he thinks he seems like a solid guy. ]

[teufelshund]

Well, if you want to get technical, the body he was possessing at the time is the biological father, but one of the children did inherit Satan's flame.

[ and the other one just got to be his window. ]

Mm, a little like that, but he was much more involved from the start. He was a friend of their mother's and was present at their birth. The fact that he refused to kill them was in itself "yielding to a demon" — so he got the parenting duty he'd tried to dump onto me.

[ this is also sugarcoating things a little, but who's going to know! ]

[psynchronise]

[ he's going to get a genetics headache. ]

If that's a literal trait of Satan, then it kinda takes away any questions about the whole thing.

That's one way to exploit a loophole. [ refusing to kill a child that just happened to be part demon. ] Worried you'd be a terrible influence?

[teufelshund]

[ actually he already yielded to a demon when he made a fucking deal with mephisto in the first place so he always knew he'd get to collect eventually!!! he just waited twenty years to do it. ]

It would have been harder for me to keep them hidden with the scrutiny I tend to be under.

I also can't say I have much in the way of parental instincts.

[psynchronise]

[ sometimes you're just conned into a deal with a demon when you're too young to know better and then you're a parent, i guess. ]

Some people don't.

Better to know that than try and fail really badly.

[ says a man with zero confidence or skill in parenting the world's sassiest 12 year old. ]

[teufelshund]

I assume you aren't speaking from experience there, as— what was it? The world's most okayish guardian?

[psynchronise]

Maybe I only failed mildly? "Most okay-ish" isn't "Worst".

[ ... ]

I couldn't leave a kid in a situation where her own mother was hitting her. I don't know if it's any better for her in other ways, but there's that at least.

[teufelshund]

Oh, I wasn't being sarcastic; if you deserved "worst" I doubt they would have held back.

I think it's commendable that you'd be willing to put the decadent bachelor lifestyle behind you for something like that!

[ he'd sure as fuck never do it! ]

[psynchronise]

... Yeah, they'd probably have made me a badge or something on day one just to rub it in.

[ still. ]




[ he closes his eyes. ] Sometimes sacrifices happen.

[teufelshund]

[ ... ]

I suppose so.

[psynchronise]

[ a shrug ]

It’s not like leaving her with her parents was an option. [ … ]

Although Renju could’ve offered to upgrade my apartment or something. If I have to keep sleeping on the sofa until she’s 18, my back is going to crumble into dust.

[teufelshund]

It was, of course; you just couldn't bring yourself to do it.

You and Shiro would have gotten along quite well, I think.

[psynchronise]

…

[ a look. ]

That the name of the kid? The one you conned into dad-of-the-year?

[teufelshund]

That's the one! Of course, he was hardly a kid anymore by that point.

[psynchronise]

A kid taking care of a kid would be a disaster.

[ no joke. ]

Not entirely sure if that’s a sincere statement, or you’re making fun of me, or both.

[teufelshund]

[ as i look at julius and ludger and nod ]

What, that the two of you would have gotten along?

[ ... ]

Yeah, maybe a little of both. In the end, the most important things in his life were those kids... and huge boobs.

[psynchronise]

[ shakes in xillia 2– jesus it’s ten years old next year. ]

…

[ thinks. ]

Those are pretty fair priorities.

[teufelshund]

See~?

[psynchronise]

[ … ]

That doesn’t count as a comparison.

[teufelshund]

I'm not saying you're the same person, just that you probably would have had plenty to talk about over a couple of drinks.

...Unfortunately, he was technically a priest, so we probably won't be running into him here. Alas.

[psynchronise]

If he has any tips for coping with a moody 12 year old, then I'd take him up on that.

[ the pre-teen years... ]

Huh. Priests don't go to hell? Not all of them are good people.

[teufelshund]

[ they could have bonded over raising children who can break their ribs like it's nothing... ]

Eh, it was a joke. Everyone goes to the same place, usually.

[ i think?? i don't understand AnE theology ]

[psynchronise]

[ sometimes your kid is just ... strong. it happens. ]

That's ironic. There's a lot of people running around up there making themselves and others miserable to try and avoid ending up in hell.